Being a Woman in the World, Part 2

I wonder if these people mean to be inflammatory.  I don't think so. Basically, a news show host suggested that women should serve their men more, because it's just "kindness."  Yes, it is kind and right to take care of each other in a way that comes from the heart out of love.  We don't need gender roles and stereotypes as guidelines to be kind. We can all be kind and look out for each other. It doesn't have to do with gender.

I'm probably preaching to the choir, but I'll just point out that this perspective supports heteronormativity in a pretty annoying way. It's just insensitive to marginalize people like that.  I mean, if we played out this advice, we might ask, what about women attracted to women? Should they make men a sandwich?  Should gay men want women to bring them a beer? No, because being so prescriptive is illogical, and again, this doesn't have to do with gender.  

As adults, we are smart enough to listen to our loved ones and come to understand how to be supportive, helpful, and kind in our own unique situations.  I don't need the Suggestions of Patriarchy. We can figure this out.

These ideas that come down to "How to treat a man" could be better written in the 21st century as "how to be a thoughtful person."  The 21st century version might suggest that everyone make sandwiches for each other!

I'm thinking about how a waiter, a man my age, recently called me "honey" and "dear."  Would he treat a man the same way? No, he doesn't call the men "honey."  I'll only let you off the hook for calling me honey if 1) you are my boyfriend 2) you are my parent/aunt/grandparent, or 3) you look older than 60, in which case, I may not like it, but I forgive you (I assume it's a generational thing).

Being treated differently is not an honor.  Having a different set of expectations in place for me because I'm a woman--being judged differently--it doesn't feel fun and cute.